deliberate musings » humor

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Justin — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 00:53:15 +0000

My friend, who has an eye for glorious things, sent me a link to a site with glory for sale:

(I can’t believe) The Turtleman

Justin — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 18:20:25 +0000

3 Zach Galifianakis quotes

Justin — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 19:19:30 +0000

I wanna open up a cross-dresser store, and call it “Susan B. Anthony”.

I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.

My New Year’s resolution was to stop saying “you go girl” to myself.

What About Bob Quote

Justin — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 06:30:25 +0000

“Roses are red, violets are blue, I am schizophrenic, and
so am I.”

- Bob Wiley

This Drummer is at the Wrong Gig

Justin — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 21:49:33 +0000

…neat.

Justin — Wed, 12 May 2010 02:22:49 +0000

Check it:

Scientists Successfully Teach Gorilla…

Justin — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 21:09:49 +0000

Scientists Successfully Teach Gorilla It Will Die Someday

Fun with snow

Justin — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 04:36:30 +0000

Well, if you have to put up with winter and snow, you might as well do something morbid with it:

The Curse

Justin — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 00:58:51 +0000

Jon Hamm is a serious and dignified man. That is why I love this:

We live in a cruel world.

Justin — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 19:37:01 +0000

“My name is Conan O’Brien and I may soon be available for children’s parties.”

- Conan O’Brien

Highlights from “Random Thoughts from 20-30 year olds”

Justin — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 17:27:41 +0000

Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart.”

“Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.

I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

Bad decisions make good stories.

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.

Christ Turns Down Deal To Coach Notre Dame

Justin — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 18:28:56 +0000

My friend sent me a link to this story, via The Onion:

SOUTH BEND, IN—Jesus Christ, the Son of God, Savior of All Mankind, and current defensive coordinator at Middle Tennessee State, said Monday that He would not accept Notre Dame’s 3-year, $5.6 million offer to coach the Fighting Irish. “I love Notre Dame and respect their football legacy, but no matter what you’ve accomplished before coaching there, once you’re a Golden Domer, the expectations, frankly, are unrealistic,” said Christ, whose family has been involved with the university since its founding. “I’ve had people turn on Me before, and it really put Me through hell. But even more importantly, I’ve made a commitment to stay with the Blue Raiders through 2015.” Christ denied asking Notre Dame to remove His likeness from the building overlooking their stadium, saying He liked a good joke as much as anybody.